If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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