READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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