I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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