You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize