I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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