i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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