Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize