so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
