i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm always down for nudity.
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