i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
love makes seman taste better
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
