His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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