maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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