Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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