i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
