My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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