Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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