How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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