Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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