I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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