shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
