just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
