If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
