You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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