dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
