no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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