plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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