Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
