Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
