after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
