My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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