Little spoons don't ask big questions
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
