you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
