Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
