sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
