You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
