Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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