this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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