Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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