I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
