if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
