My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
