wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
