champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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