I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
