oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
