Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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