addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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