these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
