dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize