I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize