I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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