I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I showed him my bush... on skype.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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