I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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