You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
