it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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