I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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