Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
