i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
