sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
